


Forget Me Not

by MurasakibaraAoi



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-11-14 04:18:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11200278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurasakibaraAoi/pseuds/MurasakibaraAoi
Summary: Bilbo could see grand halls, even if she had never actually been there; she could hear a story about greed and about a beast, even when no one had told her about it. When she signed the contract with her name, the name that ironically enough was a boy's, she didn't mean to fool the company with pants and shirts instead of skirts and ribbons, she only meant to help. Thorin/FemBilbo. (Also published in Fanfiction under the user Yueres de Leo)





	1. Chapter 1

_**"** _ _**And then, if you forgive me…. would you dance again with me?"** _

* * *

 

_With her little hands she hold onto the back of her mother's skirt, hiding her whole being from sight, gathering just a little bit of courage to steal a glance of the one standing in front of both of them. Bilbo found herself unable of looking away once, and with only half of her little face on sight, her eyes landed on the certainly perfect face of the man kneeling in front of her mother so to talk to her face to face- But it was not a man, was him? Men didn't have pointy ears like hobbits, her mother had said so. No, he was not a man, nor he was a hobbit. He was someone with pale skin, someone with long and beautiful blond hair, someone with blue eyes._

_Her mother had told her about people like them, almost every time during her bed time stories, she could remember that even when she couldn't remember a name- She had talked about bravery and beauty, about intelligence and a 'forever', a word the child couldn't quite place next to a definition. Nothing that really meant something to Bilbo, besides the fact of being different from home, different from her cousins and different from her aunts, different from her bedroom, her father's armchair and her mother's garden. Different from herself, she supposed. And now she could see it, see him, and somehow make him see her. The –man, hobbit, dwarf?-stopped midsentence, looking down at her with a blank expression, not blinking or nodding, not even moving, the leaves and branches that were almost encircling his head bright with color against his golden hair._

_Bilbo thought that he looked sad. Or at least, that he looked rather lonely._

_She didn't like it, not in the slightest. Was it because of her? Was it because he was looking at her? No, it couldn't be, he had been really happy looking at her mother, what would it be different? She didn't like it, so she reaffirmed her grip on her mother's skirt, who chuckled slightly. The sad looking blond glanced up at Belladonna, a half smile-half frown on his face, and turned back to look at Bilbo just after a second, showing something that managed to caught the child's attention. He was a little bit less lonely, and a little bit less sad, so he wasn't as scary anymore. He extended a hand to her, softly, slowly, like he was afraid to._

_And maybe he was, thought Bilbo, and maybe that was why he was looking at her like that. Grownups don't cry in front of children, she had learnt, but he looked like he was about to do so._

_Bilbo didn't like that either._

_So she took his hand, and tried to smile._

_Fortunately, he smiled back._

* * *

 

Bilbo Baggins didn't know where on when she learned how to use a bow.

But she _did_ know she was abnormally good at it.

And what made it an abnormal fact was not how she could pierce the centre of an apple when bringing them down because of being too lazy to just climb the tree, which was not a lady-like way to solve things either, mind you, or how neatly and quite easily she could shot an arrow through the very centre of the target behind her house and the very centre of the previous arrows that were already there.

No, what made it abnormal was how she seemed to be the only one in a mile away who knew how to even use a bow.

She knew hobbits weren't found of weapons and quite rarely were seen with their hands on even a simple dagger for hunting – _Unless she was talking about the Brandybucks, but still, no bows involved_ -, but she was a hobbit as well, wasn't she? If hobbits weren't born for it, why was she able to use a bow so easily? Okay, granted, maybe she was not your everyday hobbit, apparently taking after her mother and therefore the Tooks just a little bit too much, but ever since her father died, years after her mother, Bilbo had tried her hardest to act like any other lady hobbit should act, or at least like a Mistress of Bag End, the Head of a hobbit Clan, should act. It was not hard, because she _was_ already found of comfort and a good books by the fire and sitting on her father's old armchair, but it was harder to stay completely away from the things that made her just a little bit too different – _Climbing trees, using a bow, not agreeing to marry_ \- so, at the end of the day, she found herself doing just that a few times a month when nobody could see her.

Or more like just when Lobelia Sackville Baggins couldn't see her.

Except that last thing, to marry, because she refused to spend the rest of her life doing even less than half of what she liked to do with a male by her side, no matter how hard Lobelia tried to engage Bilbo to her godson. There was just no way. And Bilbo was more than lucky to be liked by the Took's Head, her grandfather and the Thain, who was quick to back her up when she needed it. But yes, all in all even if Lobelia was annoying and she tried to avoid her as much as possible, Bilbo knew that dreadful woman was a little bit right- It was not normal. _She_ was not normal. Bilbo knew that just alright, but it was not like she could do anything to change herself. She had tried; it had been a lost cause.

End of the story.

Or maybe not quite so, because that was where all the questions started.

" _Another bull's eye…"_ The hobbit stared at the target placed against a tree, hand still midair, mouth pressed into a thin line. The arrow she had just shot had landed just a few inches besides the arrow that was already embedded on the smooth surface. With that, it was a total of five bull's eye in just one target; the other three targets, on three different trees, were in the same condition.

It didn't make sense.

So much that it was starting to get ridiculous.

"Maybe it's a thing of blood" Bilbo muttered, closing her garden's door behind her, placing her bow and arrows against the wall just at her right. These items were to remain there when not used, which was most part of the month, hidden from any praying eye – _Ahem, Lobelia, ahem_ \- so her attempts of go as a normal lady hobbit were not completely useless. Normally, she would have pulled out of the target the arrows she had used, but somehow she just wasn't up to it at that moment, her mind twirling around the possibilities she had come up with, the ones she had thought about over and over again.

 _"_ _Maybe mother was good at shooting as well_ " She thought, making her way to her room, quickly changing from her pants and shirt to a green dress already laid by the bed, placing the used clothes on the laundry basket. It was a good option, really. She had grown up hearing stories about her mother's audacity – _Bilbo's father words_ \- and about her 'adventures', so maybe it wouldn't have been so surprising for Belladonna Took to know how to use a bow. It would have been nice to remember something about her, anything would have been fine, but every time Bilbo tried to remember there was just a big dark hole in the middle of her mind " _Or maybe it's a Tookish thing_ " Not probable though, for no Took knew how to shoot either, no matter how Tookish.

Honestly, Bilbo didn't know if to cry or laugh at that.

To laugh because she was even more outgoing than a Took, or to cry pretty much because of the same reason.

"Or maybe it is just luck" Muttered the 'lady' hobbit to herself, opening the front door. She stretched her arms a little before going down the steps, pulling open the mailbox and reaching for whatever was inside. As usual, a couple of letters were waiting for her eyes to take in, and Bilbo did just that after pulling her arm back, busy mumbling under her breathe to even look up once "Yeah, maybe just luck"

It would have been a good idea to look up. Like, really.

"Luck is an extremely mean thing, my friend, taking for itself the believe in our own abilities"

The voice didn't fright her, per se, but it did make her jump in her place. Bilbo stood there, pressing the letters to her chest in a poor attempt of steading her heartbeat, looking up at the impossibly tall newcomer that was standing just in front of her at the other side of the little fence. It has been a really long time since she last saw a man, having gone to Bree no more than a couple of times with her father as a kid, and even so a part of her brain told her that this 'man' was not quite so. His white beard was odd for someone used to no facial hair, a pointy hat on top of his head, grey tunics that could use a wash and a long staff on his hand.

_-And butterflies made out of light danced around her head, flapping their wings so many times she got dizzy just of trying to count. Bilbo clapped happily, giggling at them, trying to catch the little moving lights over her head by jumping almost all over the room and by the long table at her side, her mother's and another person's chuckles reaching her ears. The tall man that had set the lights free laughed when she jumped by him, patting her head a little with his free hand; Bilbo looked pass his grey clothes, his white beard and messy eyebrows, staring right at the butterfly standing on top of his pointy hat._

Bilbo frowned a little and shook her head ever so slightly.

Odd.

Extremely odd.

"Good morning" She greeted after she was sure enough that she was not going to stutter over her words, her heart beat not completely back to its normal pace. It was getting weirder and weirder by the second, now she was having strange thoughts. Where all those pictures came from anyway? Now she was going delusional.

"What do you mean?" He raised an eyebrow at her, and Bilbo was left with her mouth a little bit open. What exactly was she supposed to say to that? "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

She didn't miss a beat.

"I'm almost tempted to say that none of them"

There was a moment of silence that Bilbo used to bit hard on her tongue. She just had to go and say something like that to a total stranger, right? Her father had taught her better manners than that! But there was something on that man that just made her kind of unsettled, like she just had to know who he was, possibly because of the weird things going on her head. Or maybe it was just because he acted like she _should_ know him. There was a slight frown on his face, and Bilbo just knew she had messed it up just like she had messed up the meeting with her great aunt Calivia just a few months ago. Truly, damn her and her incredibly big mouth.

Then, to her even bigger surprise, the man in front of her chuckled.

"I see where you take after your mother, Bilbo Baggins, and I'm most pleased for what I see. Although you look quite uncomfortable in a dress, am I right about that?"

_Say what?_

"I-I beg your pardon?" The hobbit was pretty sure the letter were going to end up wrinkled in such a way she wouldn't be able to read it, everything because of the tight hold she had on them against her chest, but that mattered little to her at that moment. Stuttering over her words was not something she did often, but this situation certainly deserved some kind of special treatment "You knew my mother?" He nodded.

"And I certainly know you" He pointed out, one of his eyebrow still slightly risen. If anyone had the right to look surprised, it was her, but her mind didn't exactly had the space to comment on something like that "You know my name, Bilbo Baggins, though you don't remember I belong to it" Said the strange man like some sort of explanation, and Bilbo opened her mouth again, not completely sure what was going to come out of it, but he was already talking again "I'm Gandalf, and Gandalf means me"

"Gandalf? Gandalf… the wondering wizard? The one that makes such excellent fireworks? Bless my soul! Old Took used to have them on midsummers eve!" Bilbo managed to let out a short laugh, completely and absolutely relieved, because now there was an explanation of _why_ she had memories of him, even if her mind had placed herself and the wizard in a place she certainly didn't know. It did enough sense to calm her more than just a little bit, a smile making its way to her face "I had no idea you were still on business"

"I'm pleased to find you do remember something about me, even if it is not among my favorites" Gandalf chuckled. Then, suddenly, his eyes turned just half serious, and that kind of set Bilbo off a little bit "I'm looking for someone to share with an adventure"

"An… Adventure?" He just had to be like, what, twenty something years late? Had he said something like that when she was twenty, before her father had died, and she wouldn't even had to think about the answer. Actually, she surprised herself by not accepting right away, but what didn't surprise her as much was the picture of her armchair and her garden on the back of her head, and of course the picture of the oh ever so lovely Lobelia. Unfortunately, she was not as quick when it came to compose herself once again, her hands still holding the letters tightly against her chest "I don't imagine anyone west of Bree with much interest in an adventure, good sir"

Just like she had done before, Gandalf didn't miss a beat.

"And so it happens that I imagine someone around here wanting to do just that" Surprisingly enough he didn't raise an eyebrow even though she half expected him to. He just seemed to expect certain things about her that Bilbo couldn't allow. It didn't pain her, but it did make her uneasy. Better not to miss something when you didn't know what it was, and so she would continue without knowing what a real adventure was about.

"Then I suggest you to keep walking, Mister Gandalf, for it takes a lot time to walk all Hobbiton in one day" She took a step back, and then another one, slowly making her way up the steps to her door.

"That remains to be seen, my dear" Another thing she half expected him to do was to try to follow her inside, but that didn't happen. It was kind of a relive "I would inform the others immediately, my friend. It'll be good for you, of that I'm sure" Now with that she started to panic just a little bit. It was way too tempting.

"No! No! Please, just… just don't" Bilbo shook her head a couple of times "Do come again for apple pie and tea. A letter announcing your presence would be most welcome" At least she would get to speak with him, maybe make him tell her about her mother. Surely that much would be allowed without making her feel stupid for refusing such an opportunity "Good morning" She said breathlessly and turned around, a hand already on the knob of her door.

"Good morning indeed. Oh, and my dear" His voice was smooth, sweet, and he could be very well be making pleasant conversation. It was so calm and composed that Bilbo was almost afraid to turn around, thinking the worst as an outcome of her decision "I think you forgot these"

When she did turn around Gandalf was nowhere to be seen, almost like he had disappeared into thin air, but there, sitting on top of the bench just besides her mail box, were a bunch of arrows. The bunch of arrows she had left behind just a few minutes ago at the back of her house, pierced onto the target against a tree.

* * *

 

Bilbo was a boy's name.

She knew that ever since she was little, and apparently so did the rest of the people living in The Shire- They had all seen Belladonna Took's daughter wrath when she was laughed at for her name and her way of acting, and some of them even felt it; most of those unfortunates and foolish males still had the scars to prove that, when she was not that young but not yet in her tweens, Bilbo had been more of a Took than she was now a Baggins. She had been mistaken for a boy several times, running around in pants and shirts, borrowed from her cousins and then bought by her own father, up until the moment he fell ill. Bilbo could remember her father's smile when he asked her, lying on his bed, if to wear a dress was what she really wanted, looking over her green skirt and ribbons.

She had said yes.

Now, Bilbo wondered as she stood in front of the mirror inside her room, why she seemed unable to say the same lie to her reflection. The lie that she had said to herself every morning for the last twenty something years. _Just saying._

_Although you look quite uncomfortable in a dress, am I right about that?_

Tilting her face to one side, she stared at her reflection. She certainly didn't look comfortable, but that was not something she wasn't used to. Glancing towards the small window on her left, she checked that it was getting darker and darker by the hour; frowning, she looked back at the mirror. She was just about to eat dinner and that was it for the day, she even had the food ready on the table, so it couldn't really hurt… right?

Sighing in defeat, she walked towards her closet. A couple of minutes later she was standing again in front of the mirror, smiling slightly at how much she looked like her father with pants and a shirt on. Thankfully Lobelia wouldn't visit her that night, and so Bilbo would be able to enjoy her night in absolute comfort. Smiling to her reflection once more, she walked out the door, humming to herself as she walked towards the kitchen, sitting on the seat just in front of the place with fish and several vegetables that she had set just a few minutes ago.

Then, _of course_ , there was a knock on the door.

And that was quite enough to make her as nervous as she had managed not to be those last hours, just after she came back from the market. The picture of the really tall man standing in front of her door made her actually think about what would happen if she didn't move from her place at all or if she pretended to not have heard anything, finish her dinner and went straight to bed- Surely, sooner or later he would get tired and walk away, right? And this time, he most probably was not going to come back, because people as wise as wizards would know that she was not about to agree to whatever he was offering her.

And then everything would go back to normal.

In the morning maybe she would shoot a few arrows and that was going to be it; she would put her male clothes back into the closet until 'a next time'. And then she would eat breakfast.

Yes, if she didn't move from her place, he would realize that adventures were certainly the most unhobbitly thing to do, even if he already knew of her shooting arrows- Nothing more than a Baggins with a little bit too much of Tookish blood on her…

" _I'll hate myself after this_ " Was her thought when she found herself waking to the door, the suddenly cold handle in her hand almost automatically, and she was quite sure her body was moving that way to prevent her Baggins side from stopping her- Sometimes, most of the times, being part Took guarantied troubles whenever she wanted to be part of it or not " _I'll definitely hate myself after this_ "

What was at the other side of the door was not what she was expecting to see…. At all.

"Dwalin" The man- _The dwarf_ , she corrected herself when she noticed the details between the two of them and therefore her mistake, bowed to her without breaking eye contact for even a second, almost like it was some kind of challenge from his part, something that Bilbo would gladly end if she weren't standing on her place with her mouth slightly open in what could only be described as complete confusion, trying to process what was in front of her at that moment without making a fool of herself "At your service"

_…_ _Is that an axe?_


	2. But then, you had him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I do not own The Hobbit.
> 
> A/N: English is not my first language so please understand if there are mistakes on the writing.

That morning, Bilbo could remember, she had had a headache.

As a matter of fact it was the reason why she had gone shooting for it cleared her mind most of the time, allowing the pain to slip away. She could remember it was because of a dream, but not because of a nightmare- She had woken up annoyingly early, the image of blond hair just there at the back of her mind. It had been a really long time since she last dreamed of something as senseless as a faraway place, with a woman she supposed was her mother and people she didn't know, maybe even years, maybe even before her father died, and that was a long time ago.

It had to be a sign of some sort when someone knocked on the door again.

By the time the one who presented himself as Balin showed up, she could feel the aching inside her head, threating to come back and take revenge. Having said that, it would be an understatement to say Bilbo used every bit of the self-control she had learned those last years to not throw something pointy at a chair or at a barrel to calm herself.

"Fili"

"And Kili"

"At your service!"

It sounded worryingly similar.

Even the way they bowed looked worryingly similar, and since there were _two_ of them standing in her doorstep instead of one she took it as sign to worry a little bit more than before. The hobbit fought the impulse of looking over her shoulder at the way the pantry was, and consequently to where the other two dwarves were, trying to place the events in an order that would allow some sense into the situation and would give her some kind of explanation since, apparently, no one was going to give her one just yet.

_I would inform the others immediately_

And Lobelia said _Tooks_ were disturbers of the peace, only if she knew… Bilbo held back a groan but did close her eyes, mentally cursing Gandalf with all the words she couldn't afford to say out loud being a lady, dressed in skirts or not.

"Are you okay, Mr Boggins?" Bilbo opened her eyes, blinked a few times, and looked back at the two dwarves. Kili was dark haired, and Fili had dark blond hair- It would have been stupid to ask if they were family, for it was obvious and not only for their names, but because of something Bilbo couldn't really point out, maybe something about the way they stood beside each other. They _were_ young, not by much but enough to remind Bilbo of two certain someone's, her youngest cousins. Before she knew it a small smile was already making its way to her face.

By all means, she should have said something then.

Bilbo had noticed once or twice how Dwalin and Balin had referred to her as 'lad' or 'laddie', but didn't really care since that pretty much was when she was still worried and annoyed. She was wearing pants after all, so it was normal for them to get confused from time to time, it actually made sense. It never occurred to her that maybe and just maybe they didn't know she was _not_ a 'he', so she kind of took a moment to think about it when Kili, who Bilbo assumed was the youngest, smiled at her childishly, almost bouncing on his heels. She could have corrected him nevertheless- Eru, it was a horrible mistake to hold and repeat, even at her standards, and it was the perfect opportunity to fix it. Then she could take the opportunity to clear things with Dwalin and Balin as well. Yes, that's exactly what she could have done at that precise moment.

Bilbo tilted her face. Looked at her pants, and then looked at her 'guests' again.

Her now grimace was half annoyed, and half something else.

"Baggins, Master Kili, _Baggins_ "

The other half was most probably amusement.

Enough for her to not care about the 'coulds' or 'would have happened'.

Maybe another time, when they had all ate, when there was a chance of talking to them all at once. Yes, that was a pleasant idea, even more so because it gave her the chance to walk around in pants without bringing unwanted glares in her direction "It's a pleasure to meet you both, do come in" She smiled at them, almost specially to Kili who had beamed at how she had called him, opening the door a little bit wider. But then she stopped, and they stopped with her, looking at her face curiously "But first, mud, please"

"Excuse me?" The brothers blinked together, and the hobbit took it to herself to point down at their boots.

"Mud, off. Now, if you please"

In unison they looked down at their boots, in so much synchronicity that Bilbo laughed softly just while they both tried to basically kick the mud off.

"I told you it was not Boggins" Hissed Fili.

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

Bilbo just chuckled.

As far as she knew, and it was because she heard Balin saying they needed to push further back the dining table if they wanted to get 'everyone' in, there was quite a deal of other guests yet to arrive, and as far as she was concerned she needed to play good host, even if said guests were not invited by her- Hobbits weren't known as welcoming folks for nothing, so after silently placing as many breakable things as possible inside her bedroom besides her bow, Bilbo set herself into taking out food from the pantry. She had wanted to cook something, but Fili had said that as longer as it was edible, they would eat anything raw. Somehow that didn't make her feel completely okay with it, until there was a another knock on the door and several dwarves fell on top of each other just at her feet, startling her in the process, because there was no way she could have cooked something for that amount of people in such a short time.

"Oh my, are you okay, Master Dwarf?" Bilbo stared a little bit open mouthed at the dwarf everyone else had landed on, the one who seemed to be the largest one of them all.

"Don't worry about him, happens quite a lot" The hobbit heard a chuckle as she tried to help the fallen and rather large dwarf to his feet, and when she looked up she found one of many with a hat on top of his head. He blinked, once, twice, three times, and tilted his head slightly to one side, his eyes going down- If Bilbo felt like she was about to have a heart attack, because she was not ready to announce that she was in fact a woman, she didn't show it. But when his eyes landed on her hairy feet a wide grin appeared on his face and his eyes were back on her face "Bofur, at your service. This is my brother Bombur, and my cousin Bifur" He pointed at a dwarf at his right, a broken axe firmly pierced into his skull. Bilbo tried not to stare, and she was quite proud to say that she almost didn't.

"Bilbo Baggins, at yours" She breathed deeply, a large smile on her face, relieve all over her body as she tugged on Bombur's arm. She was being selfish and stupid, she knew it, but there was always a later, of that she was sure.

"Thank you for that" Said Bombur, finally on his feet, showing that like the others he was obviously taller than her. He smiled and then bowed his head a little.

"You have a lovely house, Mr. Baggins" Said the youngest of them all, even younger than Fili and Kili, who had been introduced by his brother Dori as Ori, a book pressed against his chest. He shyly smiled at her, looking down almost immediately when she almost beamed at him. Bilbo could have sworn she saw his neck going pink.

"Why thank you. Do come in please, the others are at the kitchen, I believe you will find your way just fine" Standing back a little, the hobbit smiled at the passing dwarves, listening to their introductions of themselves and giving them her own.

"You are most certainly your mother's child, and your grandfather's grandchild" A deep chuckle and a tall figure caught her attention. Raising an eyebrow, not finding in herself the emotion to feel angry, she half smiled half grinned at the wizard as he slipped inside her smial as the last one, closing the door behind him and turning quickly to face her, an amused smile on his lips "I haven't seen such a lively and complete host since midsummer's eve festival held by the Old Took"

"I have yet to see someone like my grandfather Gandalf, for you know I'm nowhere near being as 'lively' as a complete Took" She chuckled as well, looking over her shoulder at the dwarves as they moved things around her house, shaking her head so ever slightly before turning to look at him again, the eyebrow still raised on her face "Mr. Baggins, Gandalf?"

He actually laughed.

"Quite a refreshing point of view, isn't it?" Bilbo assumed it was the Tookish blood inside of her, but she still wasn't mad or anywhere near angry. Actually, she couldn't do much more than shook her head at him "I thought you would appreciate it, the chance of tasting how it feels to be yourself in front of others without going through the gossip and yelling normally involved, I mean" There was a moment of silence between them, the sound of laughter and erupting echoing through the halls of the house. Looking up, Bilbo smiled at him.

"This is not me" She finally said, trying her hardest to shrug. She knew it didn't work, and she knew that he knew it as well, but neither of them commented on it. Bilbo played with the neck of her shirt and sighed, maybe it was time to break the news to their companions, she had had lots of fun that night just as it was after all. It had been enough, and somehow Bilbo had the feeling that if she let it go a little bit more, it was going to be even sadder after it ended.

"It is" Gandalf didn't give her the chance to say something to that, walking towards the kitchen, but there was nothing she would have said anyway "And you know it, Bilbo"

_Did she, now?_

She tried to remember her childhood, running around The Shire like it was her backyard- At that time, it was, it really was, no one knew it like she did. It had been easy as breathing, but there was more to it than what she could remember; closing her eyes, she tried to recall the earliest thing she could remember, past the light through the leaves of the tress on top of her head, or the earth under her feet as she ran with all her might. Everything she saw was butterflies made out of bright light, a tall man, a pale hand, a long hobbit skirt and a sad grown up. The headache started again, and she was forced to open her eyes once more, sighing.

That was why she hated strange dreams, they didn't make sense.

They made her sad.

"Excuse me, Mr. Baggins?" Bilbo turned her head around, surprising himself at how ironic the situation was; she was already used to be called Mr., as it seems. The dwarf standing by her side smiled shyly at her again, and the hobbit could hear the laughter was more, she could see Kili standing a few feet away, waving something in his hand – _"Mr. Baggins! Why is this dishcloth full of holes?"-_.

"Yes, Ori?"

"What should I do with my plate?"

The image of her mother's plates flying through the air was going to follow Bilbo to her death bed.

* * *

 

"He's here"

Bilbo knew that you couldn't judge a whole race for just one individual.

For example, you could be as unfortunate as to meet Lobelia as the first hobbit you ever saw in your life, then you would think hobbits as a race with complete lack of empathy or full of selfish thoughts, greedy as nothing else you would ever met in your life, but then you could very well meet someone like Hamfast Gamgee, her gardener, and you would think nothing but good things of hobbits. For dwarves, she could say, you could first meet someone like Ori, who very possibly was the sweetest person she have ever met, and you would think that dwarves are the kindest race on all middle earth.

But then, you had Thorin Oakenshield.

_Oh, where to **start**?_

Maybe with commenting about his absolute lack of manners.

Or how about his sense of complete and absolute authority? She stared as the dwarf entered her house, taking off his coat and basically throwing it over her head, without even looking. Taking a deep breathe she took off the fabric, slowly forming the first glare of the evening, directed towards the dwarf who was talking to Gandalf about how he had lost his why twice – _Twice? **Really?**_ -, standing inside her house like it didn't even deserve to be his own, with that he probably thought was grace. To mention his arrogant behavior beyond compare was kind of pointless because if you didn't notice after two or three minutes top of meeting him, then you _certainly_ needed to get your head checked by a healer.

"You put a mark on my door?" Bilbo tried her hardest not to glare at Gandalf, but she did a poor job at that. He chuckled and ignored her question.

"Bilbo Baggins, I present to you the leader of this company and King Under the Mountain, Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror"

The jerk of a dwarf half turned around, sending a glance her way. Bilbo preferred to ignore the double take he did before openly stared at her, slowly, but not so slowly, taking a step in her direction. An eyebrow was quickly lifted- She took a moment to think that he looked like Kili, and a little like Fili, so maybe they were family.

"So this is the hobbit"

His observations skill were something to behold, really.

She tried to act like a proper mistress, really - _or master, in that extremely particular and unexpected case_ \- but he was making it hard for her, walking around her frame with critical eye, his lips curled in what Bilbo's opinion was something between a snarl, like he was disgusted with what he saw, and a mocking smile, like he was about to make fun exactly of what disgusted him in the first place. To her credit, you need to know that she didn't slap him, even when he stood at an arm's length of her, staring at her face with a raised eyebrow and the _slightest_ hint of mockery in his eyes and voice.

"He looks more like a grocer than a burglar"

… Well, at least not _physically._

"Well, you don't act much like a leader yourself- Only an arrogant fool would come inside a house that is not his and act as he owns it, insulting his host in the process"

Okay, granted, she was not the most polite host ever and her father was _certainly_ rolling in his grave because of her lack of manners, but he very well deserved her words; even they did nothing but to earn a glare from the dwarf, one that she welcomed with one of hers. And maybe that was not a good idea, _and_ **_maybe_** she shouldn't find that as hilarious as Kili and Fili apparently found it, almost smirking when she caught by the corner of her eye the two brothers snickering behind Thorin. The moment of silence was not an actually moment of silence because of that, and because of Gandalf's contained chuckles.

He continued glaring.

She did the same.

"Thank you for your hospitality"

Then she smiled widely.

"It is my pleasure"

Later, she would find, Kili and Fili had used the word 'suicidal' because from their own perspective it seemed to fit just fine.

"Do you have any experience in weapons, Master Baggins?" Bilbo raised an eyebrow at Thorin who was still staring at her, and it was such a stare that it made her think he was expecting a bad answer, but what answer would that be? They obviously were dwarves, so a 'no' would be disappointing, and she had the feeling that saying 'conkers' as any other hobbit wouldn't be most impressive either- Wait a second, why was she worrying about that in the first place? Shaking her head, she answered.

"Now, why would you like to know?"

"Uncle, look! They are the hobbit's!" Not only Thorin but Bilbo turned around when Kili called, finding said dwarf with her bow and arrows in hands, almost weaving them on top of his head with a surprisingly excited smile on his face. Thorin raised an eyebrow, Bilbo gaped at Kili. How on earth…

"Another archer" The leader nodded, glancing at her once more. Kili beamed again "Very well"

"You want to come and sit with us Bilbo, trust me on this" Gandalf placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him "You are in need of listening to this"

"Of course" More like she wanted to, once for all, hating not knowing things. Before moving from her place she extended the coat on her hands to its owner, smiling 'politely' "After you put this with the other ones"

'Suicidal' indeed.

Gandalf had asked her to listen to what the dwarves had to say, and so she did.

There were lots of things that she couldn't quite understand from what they were saying for it mentioned names she had never heard of, not even from her books- But then again, she had never actually read a book about dwarves, and now that she was sitting with thirteen of them you could say that she was regretting it. One thing she got right, it _was_ an extremely serious matter, so much that Thorin had stopped glaring at her with the corner of his eye in order to properly speak and explain what he had in mind. The map placed on top of the table was indeed interesting and her curiosity was so that she could hardly take her eyes off it, sensing that she was probably looking ridiculous doing that, but it was not like she could help it; it _was_ the first time she saw a map as strange as that one.

A big blank filled the inside of her mind before she slowly turned her eyes to Gandalf, who _suddenly_ seemed to find his other side most interesting, since he didn't look at her even once. That was enough to make Bilbo narrow her eyes, but it didn't take away the nauseating feeling at the bottom of her stomach, recalling over and over again the word that caught her attention with so much… intensity.

"…What beast?" It almost was a whisper, but somehow shut the entire table until Gandalf finally decided to accept that she was talking to him, slowly setting his eyes on hers. But it was Bofur who answered her question.

"Well, that would be a reference to Smaug The terrible, chifiest and greatest calamity of our age" The dwarf was holding a pipe in his hand and the smoke didn't make his hand any less interesting, but nevertheless Bilbo forced herself to look at his face while he spoke with complete ease "Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely found of precious metals"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is just alright, thank you" She half groaned, kind of relived the attention was off her when Ori stood up, stating that he was no afraid. She was way too busy trying to breathe to notice their spirits, or the way they awed at the thick looking key Gandalf took out of his sleeve but a moment after the silence actually started. Half of Bilbo's mind wanted to scream when curiosity started to grow within her, and the other half urged that other voice to shut up in order to give the key complete attention; at least she was not the only one looking at the piece of metal like it was the first key she had seen in her life.

"If there is a key" She heard from somewhere at the other side of the table; Fili "Then there must be a door"

Well, now she knew the observation skills ran in their family.

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls" Gandalf pointed to the map on the table, eyes fixed on said runes.

"There's another way in"

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done" Said the wizard.

"And an excellent one too, I imagine" Mumbled the hobbit from her place, biting her lower lip deep in thought while looking at the map; fire breather giant beast was not even near her idea of an adventure, and quite frankly it had left a chill running down her spine just to think about it. When there was no more conversation around her she looked up slightly, almost jumping in her chair when she found all eyes on her, apparently waiting for something. Truly, it didn't take to be the most intelligent person in the room to know exactly why they were suddenly looking at _her_ from all people; besides, Bilbo could _feel_ the wizard moving kind of nervously on his sit, and she was quite certain that he was trying not to look at her "...Just exactly on what you got me into, wizard?"

Suddenly, everything made sense. And she was pretty sure Gandalf didn't told her sooner about that… detail in order to get her to hear everything that had to be said- Not that it meant she was happy with that in the slightest.

"I'm hardly a burglar" She managed to say, still glaring at the wizard.

"And I'm afraid I have to agree with the lad. He's not burglar material"

"Aye" Dwalin at her side nodded at his brother's words "The wild is no place for gentle folk, knowing how to fight or not"

"Enough!" Gandalf stood from his place and Bilbo half wished for him to just shut up and sit down again "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is! Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins" She winced, for coming through his lips it sounded like he was referring to her father "There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself"

"Does Bilbo even have a say in this?" Hissed the hobbit, but was pretty sure that no one had heard her, or at least that no one paid her any attention.

"You must trust me on this" Added the tall man, looking at Thorin. Bilbo noticed the frown on his face when he turned his head to look at her, and she was a little bit ashamed to admit she almost immediately straightened on her sit on order to not look as small as she really was; if she had just sat quietly and biting her pride back, maybe she wouldn't have looked like a suicidal hobbit. _Again._

"Very well" He said, even though he didn't look happy with the decision _at all_. Bilbo was just starting to open her mouth when he looked at Balin "Give him the contract"

"It's just the usual summary about the pocket expenses, time required, remuneration,  
funeral arrangements, so forth" The old dwarf got to his feet, handing over some papers pressed together. Bilbo blinked a few times in a row, hopping to have heard wrong.

"Funeral agre…" She trailed while taking the contract in her hands after a moment of hesitation, opening just enough to see what seemed like endless lines of hand writing, listing detail after detail in a neat letter. Bilbo was quite tempted to laugh at it and then hand it back like any other sane hobbit would do in her place- Wait, any other _sane_ hobbit would have close the door in Dwalin's face when he first appeared what to her was hours ago, so it didn't count. Instead, she read quietly the lines that caught her attention "'the present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...lacerations. Evisceration'…. Incineration?"

"Aye, he'll melt the meat off your bones in a blink"

It was the perfect time to say that she was a woman.

Surely, they wouldn't allow a woman to travel with them, right into the wild.

 _I won't do it_.

It was in the tip of her tongue- It had been there when Gandalf came by in the early afternoon, ready to say it again since it seemed that the wizard paid no attention to her previous words. Even if it hurt and would most probably disappoint her mother to no end, Bilbo had to admit that kind of reaction had become a habit of some sort; she had become extremely good at pushing away anything things like that one- The contract in her hand, the mysterious key presented by a wizard, and the company of dwarves sitting at her kitchen. She just had to say it.

She just had to hand over the contract without even give it a glance.

She just had to politely offer them to stay at her house for the night, as the only thing she could possibly do for them.

But, strange enough, the words didn't get out of her mouth automatically. Nor did she shook her head at them, or walk away without saying a word. Instead, she looked at the kitchen again, surprising herself when she found that the seriousness and gravity of the situation and the atmosphere made it hard to try to remember the happy cheers that had taken place at that same room no more than ten minutes ago. She tried to place in Kili's face the same childish hint that she had seen before, but found it impossible. She tried to recall the happy, yet annoying, tone that who she learned was named Bofur had used when putting her plates in a pile, but failed at it.

She tried to feel indifferent.

\- _She gripped the hand she was holding with her much smaller one, listening to the story the one standing by her side was telling. It was a story she had already heard; about greed, about fate, and about a beast. She stared, from the hill they were standing on just besides the line tree she was warned not to cross alone, the half burned half destroyed buildings that together made what she supposed used to be a city. Or at least she tried to look at it. Her small but kin eyes couldn't help but settle themselves on the something that was craved on one side of the mountain, the one that seemed so far away. She could see a destroyed gate, but somehow, she thought it was beautiful nevertheless_ -

But she couldn't.

"I…"

She breathed, trying to calm her shaking hands, her eyes blurring for a second. Her hand found the side of her head in a second, like that could contain the slight pain nesting just there. Not looking up, she spoke again.

"I need a moment


	3. A Baggins Of Bag End

She was a Baggins of Bag End, its Mistress.

She was the head of one of the three largest Hobbit Clans in The Shire, the most respectable one.

She was the Thain's eldest grandchild, expected to assist him alongside her uncle Isengrim starting next year so the elder could choose one out of the two of them.

She was supposed to teach some kids, like Hamfast Gamgee's, Samwise, the most basic of studies four times a week.

She was a lady, even if  _they_  didn't know.

But over all things, more important than the fact that she was basically holding up the act of the year by wearing pants in front of those dwarves, there was no way she, willingly, would spend even more time with Thorin than she already had.

Even when it was amusing to mock him.

That was the list of the reasons why she should take the contract she was holding her hands and throw it into the fire she had started inside her room. But Bilbo was never good a listening to her own advices when it concerned her sanity, so she just sat there, staring at the paper like it would start speaking to her at any second.

She didn't sit on the armchair near the fire of the living room like she would usually do- She knew that if she did so, Gandalf would soon be at her side, trying to talk her to accept the quest and sign the contract. Bilbo didn't knew the wizard for long, or at least she couldn't remember knowing him, but that didn't mean she was about to let him see how  _useless_ she truly was, so now there she was, sitting unceremoniously on the very floor of her room. The hobbit didn't knew why he even  _proposed_ her for something like that, heavens knew that, therefore she couldn't start to think what good her presence would bring to the company now probably standing on her living room- Sure, she was perfectly capable of going unnoticed if she wished to, and she was quite proud of being able of sneaking at others hobbits, even when they were younger and sharper than her, but that didn't make her burglar material.

Not even when she had been quite capable of taking one or two baskets full of berries from Lobelia's garden when she was still at her tweens.

She was a hobbit,  _just_ a hobbit, and that meant shy personality and desire of a warm home and an enjoyable garden or front porch, not of a journey where she would most probably sleep on the cold and hard forest ground, and wouldn't have the opportunity of not even five meals a day. It didn't meant she had what someone needed to survive the elements, or to fight the dangers of the world outside the borders of The Shire- Eru, the only thing she had used her bow for besides practicing with the target was hunting, and that was it. Bilbo would be damned if she hide at someone's back while an attack, because that would be Thorin reasons to mock her even more, if not demand for her to turn around and walk all the way to her armchair.

She was no fool, she knew it was far away.

" _This is madness_ " She shook her head, a hand pressed to the side of it. Bilbo groaned and looked at the piece of paper, directly at the empty space where her signature was destined to go, almost like it was hunting her good will " _How can I even think of the possibility of accepting? It's almost too ridiculous! Who ever heard of a Baggins going out in an adventure?_ "

She decided, and it was better to tell them before it was too late and she regretted it more than she allowed herself to admit. But then again, it would not really be a surprise to them, surely none thought from the beginning a hobbit like her was going to accept something like that. Yes, it was better that way. She was going to tell them the truth as well, that was the right thing to do. Maybe it was a good idea to change into a dress.

Walking near the door was probably her second biggest mistake on that day, the first one not running away when Gandalf first stopped in front of her that afternoon.

Her ears, so used to music meant to be danced and meant to be remembered with a smile on her face, caught a tune that she certainly hadn't heard before. It was beautiful, but it was the kind of beauty that she wasn't ready to face- And still, Bilbo found herself opening the door, contract in hand, letting the voices fill her room and her head. Slowly she made her way down the corridor, her kin eyes lingering in the fire light that the open door allowed into the darkness she was standing in; Bilbo stood beside the open door, still in the shadows, closing her eyes.

It was like a memory.

A sad one.

Yes… it was just like one.

- _It was a story she had already heard; about greed, about fate, and about a beast.-_

" _…_ _It probably is_ "

Bilbo sighed.

She was probably going to hate herself for the rest of her life-  _If_ she lasted that long.

 _-She could see a destroyed gate, but somehow, she thought it was beautiful nevertheless_ -

**Or maybe not so much**

"Have you come to burn your contract, Halfling?" He looked at her sideways when he noticed her by the door, scowling, but probably because he hadn't noticed her before.

"As a matter of fact, I have not,  _Dwarf_ " There was silence, but Bilbo was pretty sure she had hear Gandalf laughing "I understand you are sure I'm nowhere near being able of surviving out in the wild" As she expected a glare was there almost instantly, but it didn't matter as much now, for she was sure a few seconds before there was sadness in his face instead of anything else. The kind of sadness that had settle itself on her face when her father passed away, the kind of sadness she could sympathize with, even if she still thought him to be a jerk "So, shall we test it?"

His face was completely priceless.

"Do you have something for me to write with, Master Balin?"

There was a moment of shared whispers and exchange exclamations when, surprised by her question, the dwarf slowly gave her what she asked for. But Thorin's expression while looking at her using the wall as support in order to write was still priceless, his mouth a little bit more open than necessary.

"What?"

He looked at the piece of paper she was handing him like it meant a threat or insult to his person, and truly, if Bilbo were to be in his situation she would act the same way, but that didn't take her amusement away, not even when his mouth turned into a scowl when his eyes caught her signature, and certainly not when his eyes so very slowly went from the paper to her eyes, eye contact apparently being the last resource in his self-appointed job of scaring her off. It didn't work.

"It's going to be a pleasure to travel with you" A small, innocent looking smile crossed her lips- Or at least it was innocent looking in Bilbo's mind, because everything the king could see in that face while his eye twitched a little was something that ridiculously close to challenge, even if he would never ever admit it aloud " _Master_  Oakenshield"

* * *

 

"Mr. Boggins! Did you check your arrows already? What about your bow? You don't want the string snapping in the middle of shooting, right?"

Startled, Bilbo looked over her shoulder at the dwarf speaking to her, taken completely out of surprise. In her opinion Kili was far too excited in the morning for it being completely normal, and Bilbo found in it the strength to breathe again, shaking ever so slightly her head before turning around, playing with the pack of letters on her hands.

"You already checked them for me Master Kili,  _twice_ " The hobbit half grinned half smiled as him, walking down the steps from her now closed door to the fence. The narrow path in front of her house was full of ponies, for they were all saddle in her fence- Looking around a little, Bilbo realized hers was not so far away from her. Kili walked almost close to her side, seeming by all means like a small kid waiting for a praise; actually, if she hadn't almost had a heart attack earlier that morning when she saw the young dwarf almost playing with her arrows, she would have gave it to him. Honestly, kids this days, playing with dangerous things.

"He's just excited to have another archer in the company" Fili looked up from his pony, grinning at Bilbo from the other side of the fence as she drew closer to it "And you shouldn't call him like that, Mr. Baggins, you'll only make his ego bigger, and while you are at that you can call me just by my name as well" Somehow she had the feeling he would have winked if he knew she was a female- Disturbing thought.

"Not true!" Kili pouted, and once more the hobbit almost couldn't hold a chuckle. Blinking, the young dwarf looked at her with big eyes, still half pouting "But you don't  _have_ to call me like that, you know"

"I'm glad to meet another archer as well, Kili" She offered him a smile, turning around with a sigh and a hand up, rubbing her eyes. She wasn't tired per se, but she was unsettled- Stupid dreams, it was always their fault.

"You seem to have stayed up until late, my friend" It wasn't a surprise to find Gandalf standing next to her mail box.

"I wrote to my grandfather in hopes he doesn't think I ran away, and I wrote to my gardener, he will take care of Lobelia, so I don't really have to worry about a major sale made out of my possessions" Bilbo went through the letters once more, not noticing the slight wrinkles on the paper for doing that exact same thing over the fifth time "I did so too with my Baggins Family. Oh, I wrote to a couple of my cousins as well, you remember Primula's kids? They are such lovely kids- May her and Bungo's soul rest in peace. But do you think I should have said something directly to my grandmother from my father's side instead of letting my uncles tell her? I'll be far enough to not hear her screaming when she finds out; but then again, maybe she'll even get somebody to drag me back by my feet"

"If I didn't know better Bilbo Baggins, I'd say you are rambling"

She stopped dead on her tracks, her head almost hanging from her shoulders and her hands on the fence that she had just opened. A huff was enough to make her hump into her place, and Bilbo noticed for the first time that a pony's face was just besides her own, breathing heavily. Smiling shakily, the hobbit patted the animal on what she supposed was the nose.

"A Baggins never rambles, Gandalf" The hobbit took a deep breathe, grinning shakily, eyeing the letters once more "But I guess a Took does, sometimes" She didn't need to look up to know that Gandalf was smiling at that, but she did it anyway. He was almost beaming. She managed to smile a little back before grimacing; the wizard frowned a little.

"Bilbo?"

"You know Gandalf, I have the feeling you can't promise me I will come back"

"If you do, you will not be the same as you are now" His face was serious, but then it softened and a spark of amusement appeared in his eyes so fast that Bilbo resisted the urge of rolling her eyes at it "And that's exactly why I think is most appropriate for you to come"

"Very well" She felt lighter and it was nice, nice enough for her to grimace at her own stupidity. Hadn't she learned long ago that does dreams were nothing more than annoying little things that made her paranoid? Perhaps a long journey that would surely tire her so much she was going to sleep like a rock was just what she needed. Snorting, she shook her head. Maybe that was not exactly the best of things to wish for.

"Have you finished your business, Master Baggins?"

Like for the fourth time that morning, Bilbo stopped death on her feet. Unfortunately, Thorin was just one pony at her right, so it was not much time until she had to meet his eyes, dragging hers all the way. He was staring at her again and this time Bilbo had to fight the urge to tough her face, was something there? She had made extra sure she looked like a male hobbit that morning, even having prepared the red coat that once belonged to her father, but those eyes on her person just made her unsettle. It was like he  _knew_ something was not  _quite_ right about her. Or maybe it was something else? But what could be? Hopefully he wouldn't feel the need to point it out aloud and she was never going to found out.

**Hopefully enough…**

"Almost" She mentally cursed herself because of how pathetic her voice had sounded, lifting the pack of letters on her hand.

He nodded once, and turned his head around almost sharply.

"We leave in a couple of minutes, be quick"

And so they did.

It's our duty to inform that Bilbo almost kicked Kili in the head when he basically threw her over her pony when Bilbo gave it a second thought and said she wanted to go by foot.

Kili never looked at her feet the same way again.

* * *

There was, in basic and much simpler terms than the ones Gandalf used to explain it when he just randomly decided to, a voice inside most people's head.

Apparently it was meant to point out the stupid things that would stand in your way through life, trying to avoid them and keep their owners alive most of the time. It was meant to be there when making difficult and life changing decisions so you wouldn't end up regretting it too much in the future, something like a guardian standing always at your side and glaring at you over your shoulder with the mission of saving your lower back, mostly from yourself. It was a quite useful thing, mind you, quite helpful and lasting; they may or may not be the wisest, but they meant nothing but good to their host- You could see it as a way of preserving themselves as well, so it was just normal for it to be so life saver some times.

Bilbo Baggins most certainly didn't have one of those.

And it was almost clear that Gandalf had decided to explain that small fact aloud for her to realize it on her own.

Sure, she had a voice inside her head just all right, but since it sounded worryingly similar to her Tookish side of her family tree and it was kind of dangerous to follow it most of the time-  ** _Is our duty to point out that was the voice whispering into her ear when she was signing the contract… not that she would ever admit it aloud to the company of dwarves and a wizard she was travelling with_** \- Bilbo noticed that most of the time it didn't speak or tried to avoid any actions from her part, letting her be, so she didn't have the habit of relying on it for anything.

So it was pretty ridiculous she didn't realize the kind of position she was in until it was too late and they passed Bree just a day after getting there. Inside Thorin's mind it was probable that the only reason they even stopped was because they needed to get supplies.

When Gandalf told her that it would be a most wonderful idea to keep hiding the fact that she was a woman, since she probably wouldn't be allowed to go in the first place if they found the truth, she should have had to, even if it was just for a second, think of it as an absolutely bad sign. She figured that since they already saw her as an almost useless male she should very well keep it that way; after all, she didn't need more glared from the oh so mighty leader, so maybe and just maybe she needed to let the situation be.

The little voice inside her head was more than happy to agree with her decision.

" _They… came out alive_ " Bilbo laid on her side, being pretty close to staring wide eyed as the flies made their way out of Gloin's mouthly almost too smoothly, like it was actually normal. She waited for the dwarf to move to or to do something that could meant he felt them inside his body, but there was nothing besides another set of strong snores. The hobbit narrowed her eyes so to see in the dark, blinking several times as little almost went inside his mouth one more time " _…Interesting_ " After what probably was a minute or two of just staring at nothing the hobbit accepted that sleep was not going to get to her anytime soon, no matter how tired, so she raised from her spot on the hard ground.

Bilbo stopped, wincing a little as her legs were a great reminder of how sore she was.

Apparently all the running she had done as a child didn't help much when it came to an actual 'adventure', if you could call ridding all day and barely stopping for eating an adventure- She knew she shouldn't be complaining since they were walking straight into a giant lizard's chamber, and so the peace should be welcomed. Besides, she had done nothing more than to ride besides Gandalf and help in whatever she could at the camp; her part of the job was miles away from there, but doing basically nothing in the mid time was kind of sad.

"Hello Myrtle, there's a good girl" Greeted the hobbit, petting her pony's nose a little bit, smiling slightly to herself. She had been given the freedom of naming her, and in all truths Bilbo was secretly happy she was not the only female in the company, even when the other one was an animal. Peeking over her shoulder the hobbit took an apple out of her near pack, cautious so no one would see what she was doing "It's going to be our little secret, just don't tell anyone"

That was when the howling started.

- _The horse was fast, but she was sitting between the rider and the reins and she could see over the blonde's shoulder, right to the place he was taking her away from. There were arrows flying through the clearing of the forest and even if it was for a second Bilbo could see the large and menacing teeth of one of the creatures that seconds before had almost jumped on top of her, coming out of nowhere and threating her life. Her back hurt, her legs hurt, and her chest hurt, but Bilbo couldn't bring herself to close her eyes; she knew that even if she did, she would still hear the howl of the creature next to her ear_ -

She was suicidal enough to sign in an adventure that would sooner or later lead her to a fire breathing giant lizard, but that didn't mean her instinct didn't know what to be afraid of out in the wild. Besides, the dreams made her paranoid, always the stupid and unsettling dreams.

Bilbo looked at the other side of the forest, trying in vain to see something in the dark with what little moonlight she could use, but, as expected, she saw absolutely nothing. After a little while she took a deep dissimulated breathe, turning around and sitting in front of the fire as slowly as possible, feeling as if her legs were going to stop working at any minute. Hobbits were not fit for ridding, and even if it was one of the things that had always intrigued her, she had had enough to satisfy her curiosity- Ori, who had been ridding close to her the past days, had said the pain would last couple of days, providing that he was not found of riding either; he had blushed shortly after and walked to where his brothers were.

She sure hoped he was right.

It didn't take long for her to realize the eyes on her frame, looking up and finding both Fili and Kili staring from the other side of the fire, the youngest tilting his face to one side with a somehow intrigued look; Bilbo had to constantly remind herself of the age standards of the two races, so therefore he was not as young as she thought he was. After a second or two, the black haired dwarf spoke.

"Aren't you scared?"

" _You have absolutely no idea_ "

Mind you, she was not about to say that aloud, she could already feel Thorin's glare on her back just alright thank you, knowing that he had heard his nephew's question as well, and hell, he was probably waiting for an answer. It would be a lie to say that he had been as annoying as she had prepared herself for, for he settled himself with sending a few glares in her direction during the day; obviously enough he would recognize a chance of pointing out how unfitting she was for the quest even when he was not included in the conversation, like the times when he did speak to her general direction just to warn they would not tolerate being slowed by her ineptitude.

But she did tried to be honest.

"I can't say I am not" Bilbo nodded slowly, hugging her knees against her chest, maybe just needing to feel as cozy as she would have felt sitting by the fire of her house. As far as she could tell it didn't work the same way.

"Then why don't you ask about it?" This time was Fili who raised an eyebrow at her words, or maybe at her actions "Don't think you know what was"

"Whatever is out there" She gestured to the forest around them and the general direction of the howling, feeling a chill running down her spine with almost fierce intensity when she remembered the glimpse of sharpened teeth "I do know it's dangerous, therefore I don't want to know anything else" Bilbo shrugged "Maybe that way I'll be able to sleep tonight"

There was a moment of silence where the only thing that could actually be heard was the constant squeak of the fire. Bilbo thought of maybe going back to 'bed' then, but honestly she didn't feel sleep catching up with her just yet, so there was not really other option than to sit there- or at least that was what she thought until the two brothers started to speak to her again… well, she was not completely sure about that either.

"Master Baggins most certainly does not want to see an orc up close, don't you think so?" Fili grinned at his brother, playing with a knife on his hand, probably not even worried that the sharp edge was basically against the skin of his palm. The hobbit would have rolled her eyes, really, she would have done so if the howling had not started again, startling her a little bit more this time. Guess that was the encouraging they needed to keep with their conversation.

"You are right" Kili nodded, a poor imitation of a serious expression on his face "Horrible, putrid-smelling things" He snickered after a second, but tried to cover it with a cough. What he couldn't cover it in time the amused smile made its way to his face "But it would be good if we actually get to face them, isn't it right, Fili? I mean, if we kill them on the spot, it would be less to worry about in our journey"

**Extremely funny indeed.**

"Do you think of this as funny?"

She would have preferred to ignore the fact that he existed.

Well, not to that point, it would be unfair and cruel and mean as all the things he had said to her, and maybe sometimes he deserved it, but that was not one of those times just yet, so Bilbo lifted her eyes from the floor until they found the dark figure of Thorin standing at the edge of the light of the fire, a scold on his face, and a heavy look on his eyes; for what seemed the first time since the journey begun that look was not sent in her direction, buy instead was placed on top of the two brothers, who suddenly forgot how to smile. In fact the hobbit was pretty sure for a second they had forgotten how to breathe, for they were awfully still.

"You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" He continued, and she was pretty sure she saw Kili's lips shaking a little, like she was choking with words since Fili was not likely to say something at that, because he was even more still than him.

"W-We…" He took a deep breath, not daring to close his eyes" "We are sorry…We meant nothing by it"

"No, you didn't" If he had shook his head along with those words, or had said them in a slightly less hard tone it would have been millions of times better, but since he didn't even seem to blink the situation kept being almost suffocating. Bilbo could have sworn to notice his eyes going far away for a second, but it was too short to actually count it as possible. And if it was even more possible, his nephews looked even worse "You know nothing of the world"

The words were out of her mouth before she could help it.

"They already said they were sorry" Her voice seemed nothing but a whisper to her own ears, but even she knew it was louder than that. It was enough to catch the brothers attentions, for the two of the stared at her with lips tightly pressed into a line, resembling the statues that some of her books described. Maybe it was because the pain of her legs dulled the rest of her body that she was not really controlling what rolled out of her tongue, and hopefully, it would be nothing more than the truth "Isn't that enough?"

She should have wondered why the voice inside her head cheered.

Bilbo almost wished the howling to start again so the silence wouldn't be as awkward as it was. And she could swear even the snores had lower themselves on propose. She could certainly feel Gandalf's eyes on her frame from where he sat at the edge of the forest, and she looked at his direction briefly before looking at the oh-so-called-king again, finding to her utter horror that he was now looking in her direction.

**Joy**

"They are not kids anymore, they need to learn how to stop acting and talking like one, Master Baggins" His voice was not low but he didn't need to scream for his words to have that strong and impressively doubtless impact that he was having right now- Bilbo could feel the knot in her stomach growing by the second, making her nauseous. But by some unexplainable reason she just broke the eye contact for a second before almost automatically staring at him again, lips firmly closed into a thin line; Thorin's eyes were dead serious and heavy, but she had not seen a day when he didn't look at her like that, so now she was quite thankful for all that 'training' "If a sorry could solve everything then wars wouldn't be necessary. This is not a game, even if  _you_  think of it as one"

"This is no game indeed, Master Oakenshield, this is far more important to you than that, and to them as well, they wouldn't be here if they did take it as game. I know  _I_ would  _not_ be here if that was the case"

He was going to snap at her, of that she was sure.

And so Bilbo prepared herself the same way she prepared her ears and her silverware when Lobelia Sackville Baggins was sure to bring one of her tantrums to her door; the hobbit took a deep breathe, sending her shoulders back slightly, maintaining her chin at a not so low level so it wouldn't look like a challenge. It was almost like dealing with a wild animal. But the bite -or the words, in this situation- did not come.

Nothing came out of his mouth, actually.

But that didn't exactly worry her. No what worried her was how he was looking at her.

He was not staring, surprisingly enough he was not glaring, but just… looking, like there truly was something to look at her for; he was not amused, not like Fili or like Kili, he was not annoyed like most of the time- Hell, he wasn't even  _brooding_ , he was  _just_ _ **looking.**_ It would have been ridiculous to say he was dazed, even when it  _was_ the first thing that came to her mind, but then she couldn't help but think that he looked bemused

" _…_ _Is that amusement?_ "

But then as quickly as it had come it was gone. He was glaring again, then he snorted. Bilbo prepared herself.

And then he  _turned around_ and _walked away._

**What the hell?**

Balin was the only one who dared to break the silence, and thankfully it was not long after the leader walked away, probably trying to lift the tension from their shoulders. She thought that it was almost pointless but she appreciated the sentiment, even more because she needed the time to slow the strong beats of her heart. She couldn't help but think that he was  _so_ close to figure out what she was hiding.

**No, I don't think is that.**

_Eh?_

**Never mind…**

"Don't mind him, laddie" He did shook his head and she was pretty sure she was the only one looking at his face now. She didn't need to glance around to know the two brothers were most likely looking at the fire, trying to calm down. Truthfully, she didn't blame them "Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs"

At some point of his story she did feel guilty for what she had said to him but didn't say a word about it. She actually didn't speak after Baling finished, perceiving the atmosphere was slowly going back to normality- At least she could breathe down, and her ears were not dull anymore; she could hear the life inside the forest, the squeaking of the fire, and her own heartbeat, this time a little bit slower. Bilbo certainly didn't dare to look at Thorin again, fearing that she wouldn't be able of holding her own against him once more that night.

There was, however, one thing she was sure of.

She was not going to get any sleep that night.


	4. Rain

- _She could hear the rain but she couldn't see where it came from; looking around, she wondered if she was the only one who had heard it, seeing how the hand braiding her curly and short hair had not stopped for even a second. Staring down at the book in her small hands a drop fell on her nose, but when she looked up, the only thing she could see was tree branches and leaves-_

"Do hobbits like rain?"

Bilbo was not about to admit aloud the fact that she almost fell from the saddle when the vice came, in her opinion, out of nowhere, breaking her daze and bringing her back to reality. In her defense she had to say that she was way too busy trying not to  _breathe_ the water that came down from the poring sky.

Truth to be told, she was already expecting the bombarding of questions that was sure to come sooner or later, and it was surprising it took so long giving she apparently was the first hobbit the company ever met, with the obvious exception of Gandalf. And speaking of which, Bilbo glared at the wizard's back, thinking that maybe he had known she was going to be interrogated at that moment, because it would explain how amused he had looked when he suddenly decided to leave her side to go to Thorin's, probably knowing that there was no way she would get near the leader voluntarily.

So when she looked at her right, blinking the raindrops off her eyes even if it didn't make that big of a difference since they were replaced immediately, finding Kili ridding by her side looking sheepish and, surprisingly enough, with Fili nowhere near him but at the head of the group, that she say that she was confused but yet curious of what he was going to ask would be an understatement; since the morning the younger brother had been acting strange, meaning that when the hobbit turned her head around when she felt someone was looking at her and found that it was Kili, the dwarf looked away immediately. Strange indeed.

But she answered anyway.

"Well… We don't like it more than you do… I guess" She shrugged, holding tightly the saddle, knowing that, even if she wanted to, she couldn't go by foot with that weather. Somehow Bilbo felt that conversation was as random as it was going to get, but at the same time she felt it was the only thing she was going to get to do that day.

"We don't precisely mind it"

She looked at Bofur who was riding just in front of her; the dwarf was looking at his pipe, trying to actually get it to burn. She grimaced a little at that, thinking of how…normal that kind of things seemed to the rest of the people around her.

"Yes, I have noticed that"

Truly, she wasn't exactly even close to be fond of it.

Rain was cold and wet.

And it gave her a headache because it was nostalgic, and she had strange thoughts when she saw it, or when she felt it. There, on the tip of her nose, a small tingle could be felt, but Bilbo tried to shrug it off by reminded herself of one small detail- At that moment the rain was as annoying as Lobelia.

She was soaking wet and that itself was uncomfortable, her dripping hair didn't help either- Nevertheless, Bilbo tried to ignore how almost well prepared she had been regarding clothes, almost like she had known what kind of coat and clothes to bring, the only tiny detail being not having something to cover her head with. Looking up at the sky she wished it wouldn't be long before they saw the sun again, and hopefully enough she was going to be able to keep the optimism for most part of the journey. As she said before,  _hopefully._

You could say that she was so concentrated thinking that she didn't notice until the last moment how it was not cold on top of her head anymore, and that the parts of her skin that had been directly in contact with the elements were now covered. Bringing a hand up the hobbit discovered a cloak poorly placed on top of her shoulders, a hood brought up to cover her head and half her forehead- Looking at her side Bilbo found Kili trying to arrange the cloak that obviously belonged to him, completely aware of how the water came like rivers down his face.

"...Isn't this yours?" After the words left her mouth she kind of wanted to smack her head into a tree or some rock; of course it was his, but it had taken her by surprise to receive it. He didn't seem to find the question strange thought, for, thankfully, he didn't laugh at her nor did he look at her in a mocking way, like the night before.

"You just seem to need it more than I do" He shrugged while lifting one of his hands at his face, clearly trying to keep the water off his eyes. It was kind of amusing, actually, how carefree he seemed to be. The hobbit shook her head, bringing the hood and the fabric down after a second, trying to convince herself she was not going to fall from the saddle if she did that.

"You still need it"

"Not really"

It was official that Bilbo didn't understand the situation.

But then she saw it. The small shrug of his shoulders was more like the way a kid acted while being scolded, the twitch on his mouth was nervous, tense, and she could tell he was not about to make eye contact with her- Those were signs that she knew very well thanks to her youngest cousins after a scolding, when guilt started to fill their little chests until they were practically begging to be forgiven.

He was trying to say sorry, probably for the night before.

….You couldn't say she was surprised at how dwarves chose gestures over words in that kind of matters.

"Then, I appreciate it" She smiled, but while taking the whole piece of clothing of her shoulders and placing it in front of her legs on the saddle, making sure with a hand on it that it wouldn't slip to the floor with Myrtle's movements "But this is hardly fair" He opened his mouth again.

"But-"

"Thank you, though. It was...really nice of you"

It was the first time someone from the company actually approached her- Like Thorin, no one has really paid her much mind, and since she had something ladylike really deep inside her, having manners was maybe what she needed right now. Giving him a nervous smile, Bilbo waited for the young dwarf to react, and since at first he just stared at her she really thought he was not going to do much. After a second, though, he smiled back.

"You are welcome, master Boggins"

"Baggins, master Dwarf,  _Baggins_ "

Bilbo was pretty sure she felt a glare on her from the front of the company when Kili laughed cheerfully, probably from a blue eyed dwarf with an awful personality. So, for the first time since it started, she was thankful the rain was almost too thick.

The voice inside her head laughed along with Kili.

* * *

 

It was very much like a nightmare, but while being awake.

Don't misunderstand her, Bilbo wished she didn't know it was a nightmare, so at least the illusion that she was not in such a bad position wouldn't bother her for a little bit more, even if it was until there was no other option but to accept that it was, in fact, real.

Because, well, Bilbo already knew it beforehand; with the kind of arrogant and narcissistic personality Thorin had apparently since birth, he could get the worst out of most of people in the middle of a conversation no matter how civilized they tried to act, and she would not be surprised at all to hear in the future,  _if_  they  _happened_  to get rid of the dragon and live to tell the tale, that his kingdom had gone to war because of his stupid temperament and his mean mouth besides his incapacity of having empathy towards someone that was not his kin.

But that situation was just ridiculous.

"Gandalf, where are you going?"

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!"

For some reason she couldn't quite understand at the moment, Bilbo gulped.

"And who's that?"

"Myself, mister Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day!"

_Then why are you leaving me behind!?_

In her opinion, that was an incredibly good question.

She stared open mouthed as the wizard soon disappeared into the wild, leaving nothing but a group of nosy dwarves and a really shaken Bilbo behind- It is our obligation to point out how at that moment said hobbit's brain was quite busy trying to decide between crying our screaming and pulling her hair out, but since none of them seemed to fit the situation she was left to just stand there, gaping at the same spot time after time, not quite sure of what to do now. The only thing with sense she could come up at that moment was to mechanically look at Thorin, wishing that he would say something. Anything at all.

He didn't, even if he did met her eyes for a second.

"Com one Bombur, we are hungry"

And with that, it was like nothing happened at all. The rest of the company started to move in different directions, both Fili and Kili talking between them about something apparently extremely funny as they laughed, walking past her. Bilbo stood there with her feet almost glued to the ground, now  _really_ not knowing what to do at the moment.

Or with her life, for that matter.

"Is he even going to come back?" She mumbled under her breath, and almost jumped out of her skin when an arm landed on her shoulders. Bilbo found Bofur grinning down at her, and she managed not to groan at his cheerfulness.

"Don't worry lad, he's going to be okay" The dwarf laughed. The hobbit glared once more in the direction the wizard walked away "I dare to say than he has even more possibilities of staying unharmed by the end of the night than us" If she had not turned her head at that moment she wouldn't have noticed how he suddenly frowned, his mouth pressed into a thin line; Bofur focused on the hand he had on her shoulder, patting the same place a couple more times before tilting his face to one side, like he was now a little bit amused by something, shaking his head in the progress- That just confused her even more. After a second he looked down again, meeting Bilbo's eyes "You should eat more, even your shoulders are rather thin"

She actually felt her heart stopping, and when it started to beat again it was in a slow and painful motion.

Her eyes were wide with surprise, and she was thankful he was again looking at her shoulder. Although she didn't like it she had used their ignorance regarding her race for her good, hiding her frame with baggy clothes, but there were things she just couldn't hide no matter what, like for example the size of her bones or her hands. The word awkward couldn't even start to describe how it would be to explain the situation if they happened to find out.

….Yes, that certainly would not be nice.

Coming back to reality Bilbo noted the dwarf looking at her with a raised eyebrow, and she realized she had been far too quiet for it not to be suspicious, and she almost literally chocked with her own words. At least she could manage to nod her head once.

"Y-Yes, I-I…. I will" She cleared her throat, hoping it wouldn't be much too feminine, but how you try to hide that kind of things? But Bofur seemed to buy it just fine, patting her shoulder reassuringly once more before walking to the other side of the camp, where his brother was already putting things into place in order to make dinner- Since she didn't have siblings herself but lots of cousins instead, Bilbo couldn't quite imagine how it was to love someone the same way you would love your own parents. It was, by far, a feeling that she had already forgotten.

"It seems you are the only one I have left, Myrtle" Mumbled the hobbit to the pony, petting her nose; Myrtle was bigger than the dog Bilbo had pictured having before starting the journey, but it would do for the time being.

It was not long until something else startled her.

"Master Baggins"

Bilbo took a deep breath and turned around, surprise rising inside her chest when she came to face Bombur.

Now that was interesting.

But if she really thought about it, that he was actually talking to her was not really  _that_  strange; his cousin had walked away from where she was standing just mere seconds ago, and if they were any similar then Bombur wouldn't need much effort on trying to be as friendly as Bofur, even when Bilbo had the feeling no one could be more friendly than said dwarf. Maybe the only exception was Kili, who had been dragged by his brother while Fili said something close to "Is not proper to monopolize the hobbit, little brother" and she wasn't sure how they stopped wrestling on the ground after that.

Oh, right, Thorin had a said on that, why it didn't surprise her?

"Are you okay, Master Baggins?" What got her out of her own mind was Bombur's voice, and as she blinked Bilbo realized she had dozen off at some point. The hobbit almost sighed at how stupid she probably looked at that moment, but instead of an amused look or a teasing expression there was a little bit of concern on his face. Blinking, Bilbo tilted her head to one side as slightly as possible.

"Oh, I am, sorry for that" She shook her head a little, feeling heat going up to her cheeks "Is there something you wanted to tell me, Mister Bombur?" He seemed convinced with her words, and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Gandalf had told us a few things about hobbits before, and between those small details he commented how much your race is found of good food" Bilbo, now truly surprised by what she was hearing and by the genuine expression the dwarf was using at that moment, nodded at his words after a few short seconds, what the dwarf took as a sign to continue- For the first time in the past weeks she wondered just  _what_ Gandalf had been telling the dwarves about hobbits "So I was wondering if you would like to help me with tonight's meal? Is not a though chore, but it certainly would be easier and probably tastier if two work on it instead of one"

It took the hobbit a moment to process what he had just said, and her eyes went wide after that. She had definitely not expected something like that; it didn't take to be a genius to notice how she stood out of the company, mostly because she didn't know what to do with her own time when they were left to just set for the night or for lunch, so to hear something like that was beyond pleasant. And maybe it was childish of her to say that it was lovely to give someone a wide smile after so long time.

"I would love to, Mister Bombur"

To actually do something while the others set up camp was completely different to just standing there, awkwardly glazing at everyone else's jobs, and the fact that she had spent that time cooking was just great. She had not had the chance to cook since the night the company of dwarves and the wizard appeared on her doorstep, completely moving her ground, and it felt nice to be able to let go like that after what to her seemed a really long time- And to do it besides someone as skilled as Bombur was just as nice. Despite his big frame the dwarf was quick with his moves when it came down to cut whatever there was in need to be cut, and careful when he discussed with her the best way of mixing the ingredients. He proved to be more than an excellent cooking companion, even more than any hobbit she had spent her time with.

Night came quickly, or maybe it was because she had been too busy arguing with Bombur regarding the species they were to use for the stew, and by the time she looked up from the finished food stars could be seen over her head. For the first time since she left The Shire Bilbo smiled a little, not because of something specific but just for the sake of doing so. She could only sigh close to contently.

But there was something still bugging at her.

"He's been gone a long time" She mumbled under her breathe, gazing at the dark horizon even if it was so dark she could not see the forest anymore. Turning around, she walked towards the fire and consequently towards Bombur and Bofur, who were serving the food in wooden bowls.

"Who?" Bofur didn't look up from his shore.

"Gandalf"

"He's a wizard! He does as he chooses" He chuckled after a moment, leaving the wooden spoon and turning to her "Here, take this to the lads"

"Master Baggins worked hard on this as well, you should be the one doing it" Scolded Bombur from behind, serving himself a portion of the food. Bofur opened his mouth, apparently considering his cousin's words, but she was quick to interrupt whatever was going to leave it.

"Is no problem at all" She smiled a little, pleased that she was finally able to do something even if it was little.

Bilbo quickly made her way to where Kili and Fili were. She shivered a little, feeling the cold of the night trying to get inside her body since she was not near a fire anymore, but the hobbit kept walking anyway, trying to ignore the small shivers going down her shoulders. Finally she found Fili and Kili with her eyes, the two of them standing side by side and giving her their back- Walking between them, she smiled again.

"Here, enjoy" She stretched her hands to her, but they did not make a move to take them, or to look at her for that matter. Frowning in confusion Bilbo looked at the two of them a couple of times before opening her mouth, finding the situation quite odd- Normally, the two brothers would jump at the mere thought of food, but now it was they didn't even knew it was there "What's the matter?"

"We are supposed to be looking after the ponies" Mumbled Kili, almost like he was not even talking to her but to himself, his eyes not moving from what he was looking.

"Only we've encountered a slight… problem" Fili grimaced at his own words, and if she didn't know better she would have said he had winced as well "We had sixteen, and now there's… fourteen" Bilbo had wanted not to turn and see whatever they were staring at, but since lately her Tookish side had got the worst out of her the hobbit soon found herself looking at roots dangerously sticking out of the ground, and it took her a second to realize they had been, in fact, ripped out of the ground along with everything of the tree including branches and leaves.

"A slight problem…" She stared at the fallen tree, feeling a knot growing inside her stomach, gripping the bowls in her hands even tighter- There was something obviously bad about it, therefore it made the situation both worrying and something for her to be scared about. Clearing her voice and her head at the same time, she blinked back whatever nonsense she was about to say and stared at the tree again"…A slight and possibly quite dangerous problem"

"Daisy and Bongo are missing" Informed the youngest dwarf, walking to where a couple of the rest of the ponies were standing. For a moment Bilbo stood in her place, almost frozen, trying to process the rest of the information before moving forwards, not really sure what she was doing or what she was approaching, just feeling the need of movement.

"As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it" Commented the blond brother, walking besides the tree with Bilbo at his heels- She almost snorted at his words, and if she had not been as confused as she was now she most probably would have done just that.

"I don't think I'm going to figure out much more than what you have already. Whatever did this" She motioned towards the tree by her side with the hand that still held one of the bowls "Is big and dangerous"

"Our thoughts exactly" Sighed the dwarf.

"There's a light!" Alerted Kili, his body low before darting to the trees not far from them, Fili fast on his heels. Signing deeply and feeling like the first time she opened her door for Dwalin, Bilbo stumbled her way to the two brothers with her heart pounding loudly on her ears, but before she could make it as far as them a loud crash was heard through the woods, literally making her jump to where the two brothers were now standing, equally serious expressions on both their faces. Breathing almost too loudly the hobbit wondered just how they managed to hold their ground a situation as random as that one.

"What was that!?" There was a light deeper in the woods, and the sound of something like voices coming from there, but it was not a type of voice she was used to.

"Trolls" Grunted Kili, and moving once more, he ran forwards besides his brothers.

_Then why are you going towards them!?_

She found herself following them nevertheless.

And this time she had a perfect opportunity of looking at what had made such a strong noise; Looking at the giant green thing moving towards the fire while she looked for a place to hide, Bilbo thought that maybe it would have been a good idea to get help from the others, but the camp was already too far and the situation itself was getting worse by the minute- Never she thought she would be standing this close to something taller than her, even more than man. Peking over the rock she was using for hiding, the hobbit got a glimpse of the two other ponies tucked under his - _it's_ \- arms, and curiously enough one of them was sandy colored, very similar to…

_Oh._

"They got Myrtle!" She whispered, a horrified expression crossing her face while she stumbled to where the two brothers were standing. Oh goodness, no!

"They are slow, I think we should act before they actually start to eat them" Fili said besides her.

"And I think while they plan how to do just that, we need to warn your uncle"

"There's no need of worrying him" The youngest one dismissed with a wave of his hand without looking at her, a light hint of nervousness in his voice and body language even when there definitely was concentration, but Bilbo thought that Kili had just meant something more similar to 'there's no need of making him angry with us again', and for that she couldn't actually blame either of them. Looking at Fili, she noticed he was nervous as well, and that for some reason made her conscious of her own nervousness tickling inside her stomach and head, making the hobbit a little bit dizzy.

"Then we should really do something…" And maybe it was because she was too busy trying to not throw up that she didn't notice until the last minute the look Kili was sending her from his position until she looked down at him, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Something extremely deep inside her whispered that maybe it was not that late for running in the other direction.

"Yes, you should!" He stood, a hand on her back in a gesture that she supposed was meant to be reassuring, and she was pretty sure his quick speech was to shut the words that were already on her mouth. Bilbo tried with all her might to refuse the absurd idea of a hobbit like her getting near Trolls, but apparently making her face a dragon was not enough for the two brothers were already grinning at both her sides, not giving her a chance to speak "It's perfectly safe! I already told you, they are really slow. Besides, they are really stupid as well! And you are so small they'll  _never_  see you!" As if that was going to shadow anytime soon the fact they were the size of trees "We'll be right behind you"

She really wanted to say that was not reassuring at all, since they were the ones that managed to lose  _ponies_ in the first place.

Said ponies' noises were getting louder and louder, most probably realizing they were in great danger and wanted to get out of there; Bilbo knew she wanted the same thing as well. But the difference was that she actually had a chance to do it, and they didn't, and if she thought about it she would never hear the end of it if Thorin knew she didn't even try to bring back the ponies in one piece- The Bilbo had the impression he didn't fancy walking and tiring the company more than she did.

Signing, Bilbo looked at the fire once more.

**_I'm sure it's going to be fun._ **

_Shut up._

"Lately I've found myself doing lots of things I'll regret sooner or later" Bilbo basically spoke because she needed to find a way of shutting the little voice at the back of her head, practically cheering for what she was about to do- Some part of her, the side that had got the worst of her the night she decided to go out in that quest, reminded the hobbit that was not what she signed for, but since at the moment she couldn't remember what specifications were in that contract Bilbo would try her best to ignore it. Besides, she had the feeling the brothers were not going to let her get away from all that trouble even if she wanted to in the first place- They were already getting the bowls out of her hands "I guess one more wouldn't make a big difference"

Close to three minutes after that Bilbo realized it was a big difference.

An  _extremel_ y big one.

Three of them, actually.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today. And blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow"

"Quit your gripping. These ain't sheep! These is west nags!

"Oh, I don't like horse! I never have. Not enough fat on them"

_Lovely conversation, really._

Standing in the shadows close to where the trolls keep the ponies, singing in relive when she saw the they were unharmed –that  _Myrtle_ was unharmed- Bilbo tried to calculate exactly how big at least one of them was in comparison to whatever o whoever she had met or seen in the past, so maybe she could have peace of mind knowing she died by the hand of something close to twenty times bigger than her. She had no doubt they were slow, for their conversation was not an extremely brilliant one, and you could kind of guess it for the clumsy way they moved around; she tried to calm herself by repeating inside her head that since they were that clumsy, if she had to run away she would have the opportunity of doing so, but when she noticed that they could easily lift her completely from the ground with the enormous hands, suddenly that little ray of hope wasn't as visible as before.

" _Not the moment of going back, Bilbo_ " The hobbit gulped, pressing her hand against one of the trees, watching the troll's movements with her eyes. With each breathe, she felt an itching feeling inside her chest, like it was hot fire instead of the cold relive she needed at that moment. Maybe it was good, and that was just what she needed to hold her own while facing this situation " _You already are too far from home to do so_ "

In what she wanted to think as a determinate gesture, Bilbo started to walk towards the improvised pen at one of the sides, being careful on not doing much noise, even though she was sure no matter how much noise she did they were never going to hear it since their conversation was even louder. When she practically stepped onto the light, standing besides Myrtle as the horse stamped her feet on the ground, Bilbo almost sighed in relief when she saw the knot what |kept them inside, immediately trying to lose it enough to break them free.

It was more difficult than what she had thought at first.

" _Come on, com one_ " She urged, gritting her teeth in frustration and in nervousness, having the feeling she was going to be discovered at any minute. After a few more tries she gave up while her eye twitched in annoyance at her own uselessness, accepting the fact that she would need something sharp to cut the ropes with since she apparently didn't have strength enough to do it herself- Maybe she could snuck away again to get one of Fili's knives.

She turned to go.

And froze in her place.

One of the trolls was looking at her direction.

The hobbit held her breathe, quietly sending a prayer to whoever was looking at her right now from above, someone that was most probably laughing at her misfortune. Maybe she was so busy praying that she didn't notice at first how he was not looking directly at her, even if she was just a few meters from them, but something  _behind_  her. It took Bilbo a second to hear what seemed worryingly similar to a war shout if she ever imagined one, coming just from behind her, and even before she could move from the shadows and into the light, a figure ran past her, sword in hand, and stood in front of the trolls.

A figure almost as small as she was.

Almost.

_Kili._


End file.
